So this past week I was talking to my dad on the phone and we were talking about Arizona. We were talking about how both him and I have been going there for the past three summers, and this summer since I have a camp job I won't be going out there. I knew that by taking this camp counselor job that it meant I wouldn't be able to go out there, but for some reason it just didn't click with me that I really wouldn't be going out there and spending time on the reservation.
I'm so thankful for this camp job, especially with the economy how it is and how hard it is to find jobs, but how weird will it be to not be in Arizona.
After I got off the phone with my dad I began to think about not being in Arizona. I started to look through pictures from the past three summers and all I could do was cry. Looking at faces made me think of how many people I have made relationships with. I won't get to see any of them this summer, kind of makes my heart hurt a little bit. Being on the reservation has become like my home away from home. Not going out there means I won't see the four little girls I met last summer, I won't see my friend Ammie, I won't see my AYM friends, I won't see the Grand Canyon, I won't have dollar breakfast Tuesdays, no HOTR, no 25 cent wings night, and I won't get to eat Odettes :( Most of all I will miss the people there.
I know there is a plan as to why I'm here for the summer and I know that will unfold as the summer comes and that I can only take one step at a time. It's just so hard to think that I won't be going to the place that holds such a huge place in my heart. It's hard to imagine my life without the reservation and without all the people that I have met there. To think the very first summer I went out there I didn't want to be there at all. I thought it was going to be stupid and I had no friends there, basically I thought it was going to be an awful experience. Look at me now...it's hard for me to stay away! My heart was definitely changed in just one short week and not a day goes by that I don't think about everything there.
For now I will set my eyes on the opportunities available this summer and look forward to going back to the reservation someday soon. It's all in God's hands.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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best friend. i'm so honored to be so close with someone who has such a big heart. it's such an answered prayer that you got this camp counselor job. i know that you'll impact so many people just like you've greatly impacted me. i know it's hard to spend a summer away from the reservation, but i have faith that you'll end up there soon enough. :) i love you girl, and you know i'm here to talk about anything you need. prayin fo yuhhh. :)
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